Back to
list of



Emotional Healing Power

Marilyn Gordon, Cht

After she was badly hurt in a car accident by a drunk driver, Amy sat in her hospital bed with a patch over her eye. Though she had difficulty breathing and felt the pain of broken bones, she said that she was stunned at how she was excited by life, excited to be alive. She was feeling something new to her – the ability to live on a level of openness and intensity and even joy. The accident had literally cracked open her shell.

This opening happens to many people – not only through cataclysm, but also through the daily awakening process that every one of us is undergoing. Everything, when truly seen in its most transparent level of truth, has a particular purpose in the scheme of things. Everything we undergo and everything we feel is an opportunity for awakening. When you look back at the events of your life, you may see in hindsight how the pieces of the puzzle fit together, how experiences that have grieved you or made you angry or terrified were exactly what you needed to both deepen you as a soul and help you to move on in your growth. A relationship that ended might have been just the chance you needed to move to a different city or to another person, and to find something with which your soul is more aligned – or at the deepest level, to awaken you to the essential experience of your Self.

Things can pierce us so strongly that they actually blow us open. Wounds of the heart, for example, can be just the piercing we need to unlock our deepest feelings. It’s good to honor these experiences of ripping away the obstructions in our consciousness so that we can truly remember that ultimately they’re opening us to God-realization and higher life. At the same time, we don’t have to wallow in any of our feelings. We can experience them, release them, and transform them as we move to increased levels of wisdom and light. We all have emotional patterns that are scripts we came here to experience. Some of us are very angry. Others are cowering and fearful. Some are very controlling. Still others are filled with deep sadness and grief. Some of us feel all these feelings, though usually some theme predominates. Most of us were born with these feelings (called “samskaras” in Sanskrit), and we came here to transform them.

Ultimately, everything is a part of God. Everything is made of the energy of the Universe, including all of our feelings. Rightly understood, considering that everything is made of the fabric of the Universe, there’s a great plan, a built-in system of spiritual transformation and emotional healing in everything we experience. Sadness can open us to the heart of all of humanity. Anger can give us power. Fear can protect us in many circumstances. Even depression can show us the underbelly of its opposite sunny reality so that we can balance the dualities of life and eventually move beyond the duality to the Oneness of all things.

The main problem occurs when emotional experiences prevent us from functioning – or when they linger on and on. Yet even here there is opportunity for awakening, as we at some particular time, come to an “Ah hah!” of decision in which it becomes clear that we can step into another level of seeing. It’s as if suddenly (or even gradually) the sky opens up and another level of living is revealed. We might see that through our own suffering we can now feel profound compassion for people all over the world who are suffering. We might feel a profound wisdom that shines a laser beam on the meaning of some experience in our lives. Maybe that divorce, for example, is exactly what both your souls need for greater growth and self-knowledge. It is more than likely that the death of a dear one or the loss of a job or a physical illness are all teachings, opportunities to move away the clouds, to be more present and more awake.

Opening up the Frozen Pictures
At 31, Maria knew she needed to do something drastic. She felt like she’d cut herself off from her feelings, she really wanted to be married, and she was having a hard time recovering from a massive blow she’d received at age 16. That’s when her father had jumped from a fourth story balcony and killed himself. She carried around a constant undertone of sadness. She wondered why her high school years couldn’t have been “normal.” She never expressed any of her deep feelings to anyone. She just acted as if everything were okay – and so the experience hung on inside of her. She wanted to know how this horrible thing could have happened to her family. She knew more than anything that she wanted to open her heart up and heal.

She was carrying around what we call “frozen pictures in the soul” – a freeze-frame picture taken at a significant moment, frozen in time, eternally magnetizing the same feelings that Maria felt in the stunning moment years ago. She watched her mother come to terms with what happened, but as for herself, she felt completely stuck.

When Maria came to a healing session, she relaxed very deeply and saw a picture in her mind of her high school track and field. She knew that she was being taken back to that time to visit that cataclysmic period of her life. She experienced herself as being in a fog, going through the motions and being overwhelmingly and all-consumingly sad. When her dad jumped off that building, she shut herself down. She was ashamed to admit to anyone what had happened.

But now it was very different. She was 31 and ready to allow herself to feel and to untie the knots within herself. In her mind’s eye, she saw the sixteen year old girl that she'd been – sad and ashamed. This time, she shifted the picture of that girl and allowed her to say, “Help!” She allowed herself to be listened to and understood. She allowed tears to flow. She allowed herself to breathe, and finally her Wise Mind spoke to her. It said:

It's okay. It was no one's fault. All people go through ups and downs and sadness. Dad didn’t want it to happen either – but he was extremely sad. His physical thyroid problems ran in the family, and the problems overpowered him.”

She communicated with her dad: “I’m so sorry it had to happen. I wish you could be here with me.” In her mind’s eye, she and her dad showed each other their love. Her Wise Mind again spoke to her:

He's with you on another level. Sadness has opened your heart to another level of living. Don't be afraid to feel it and write about it, and as you do, it lifts from you and there is rebirth – springtime.”

That word, “springtime,” came to be Maria’s word of healing. She felt light and warm, good and open. She knew that this healing had to have gone beyond her intellect, to the deepest place in her soul. All her past migraine headaches ended, and she entered a much happier phase of her life.

Three Healing Steps
The steps in deep inner healing as mentioned here are: experience, release, and transform. First allow the experience of your experience. So often we want to run away from our experience. Our culture offers palliatives, drugs, escapes, and entertainment so we don’t have to experience ourselves. And yet, there is great value and richness in allowing ourselves to come to know what is the true content of our lives.

Next we can release the experience, using special techniques or just awareness and breathing. And then we can transform by taking a leap in consciousness to an expanded level of knowing, in which we’re in touch with love, wisdom, light, peace, forgiveness, witness consciousness, and compassion. This ability to move our consciousness is a gift we’ve all been given. It’s a seed inside that can bear fruit when we take good care of the higher gift of healing potential and expanded understanding. We came here to know this other level of life, often through our deepest trials, and to ultimately rest in the knowledge that we are all made of the same Infinite Energy.

©2006 Marilyn Gordon, BCH, CI
1 (800) 398-0034